REASONS AS TO WHY MOST RELATIONSHIP DON'T WORK OUT.
10 reasons why relationships fail to work out within the first six months of dating as articulated by Vokespencer.
Most teenagers(including me)are victims of soar relationships.The dilemma has always been there in deciding whether to quit from dating or perhaps give it another trial.
It becomes difficult to understand why would lovebirds turn out to be the worst enemies and why would a relationship that seemed to work out end up in a tragic way with much bitterness and grief.The question of who get hurt most during break up is another story but major concern today will focus on why all these sorrow and decapitation,later I will cover about possible mitigation.
Here are ten reasons as to why most of teenage relationships fail to work with the first six months of dating and romancing;
1.EXPECTATIONS.
Possible picture,hope or possible ideal that one believes will happen in his/her favor immediately after engagement is a major killer of most young relationship.When your expectations are too high believe me that you will get frustrated and disappointed like a hell.Most teenagers accept proposals not because they are after love but because they want their bills,outings,evening coffee or rather financial needs to be catered for,and despite the fact that not all have similar intention it becames difficult to sample out who loves you from whoever loves you because of material you possess.
And here I say,let the major motive behind engagement in any relationship be cravings for true love that might lead to a healthy relationship and even marriage.See someone as a father or a mother to your kids,this will drive you to make better choices without future regrets.
To sum up the issue about expectations,let your relationship be of mutual benefit,don't expect too much gifts from your lover,sometimes be the giver and when you decide to surprise your spouse,give out without attaching strings or expecting back anything.
Finally,don't expect everything to work out as planned,remember ours is to plan but the Almighty has the final word.
"Too much expectations will kill you,keep them low"
2.FEAR OF UNKNOWN.
Fear is equally dangerous and brutal killer of most viable relationships.
Fears such as;"What will friends say about me?when will he/she get enough money?What if he/she is cheating on me?what if we don't get married to each other?"are very dangerous and equally important in any relationship because they help you in focusing and planning for future.On the other hand,is it dangerous if not well handled because it makes you restless and impatient,this might result to making wrekless yet heartbreaking decisions in relationships.For a healthy relationship,one should not concentrate too much on impossibilities rather than possibilities because nothing is impossible in life.The current situation is just a lesson to make you plan for a better future, therefore partners should support each other to grow and visualize their hidden capabilities.In this regard,have hope that one day all you've ever dreamed about will come to pass.
Again here I'm not against expectations,in fact every couple should have goals in life and the fact remains that we should not be over ambitious because that light at the end of tunnel may turn out to be a train coming your way,it might strike you and therefore be ready for anything as you enjoy your dating life.Never lose that hope for better coming days.
3.AGE DIFFERENCE.
"Age is just a number",majority of teenagers and adults believes on the above phrase about age in relation to dating.They do believe that age should not be a major consideration in deciding who to date or rather who to marry,but on the contrary opinion I will differ slightly with the above belief.Age is very crucial aspect of any marriage and has long term effects that might lead into unnecessary divorce in future if not well handled as at now.Despite the few working relationships that has a lady being older than a gent,most of such relationships never last and this is because of African way of life.We were brought up and taught that a man should be older than his wife,that has greatly affected the way we make decisions to marry.Similarly, scientists support the fact that a man should be relatively older than his wife and they support it with scientific facts and figures.On my opinion,"the issue about age difference will affect your relationship either negatively or positively depending on your perception and how you are going to handle it with your lover"if you have a conflict with your spouse concerning the same issue,be careful in making decisions because this are lasting decisions that might affect future life.If you manage to handle it successfully then you are good to go but failure to handle well might cause severe similar conflicts in future and may affect your marriage adversely.Nevertheless,it's important to note that the issue usually affects most ladies than men.
when making decisions concerning the age difference,let it be a personal decision,don't engage your relatives or family members unnecessarily because after all,you will end up living with your spouse not your family members nor friends.
4.THIRD PARTY.
Love relationship is ment for two people,a lady and a gent unless otherwise.Learn to solve most of your issues alone because engaging third party might lead to more problems.The moment you start listening to what other people say about your lover,that is the moment you will lose trust and momentum.Not everyone is happy about your thriving relationship,others are jealous because their relationships never works and this makes them feel envy for you.Whenever you here allegations about your spouse cheating on you,don't rush in making unrealistic decisions,perhaps be patient because time will always tell the truth no matter how long it will take.Learn to believe in self and most important your spouse and before engaging a third party in solving minor issues,it's better and recommended that the two of you should seat down and have a cool talk about the issues that are eating on you.
5.MISMATCH.
This frequently happen when you rush in choosing a partner and later realize she/he is not your "type".This might lower your self-esteem and confidence,you should rather take time when choosing a lover.
You should consider dating a close friend because you've atleast known their personality and character better.
6.MONEY.
Desire for more money is still a major issue affecting most relationships.
Understanding financial status of your lover is very crucial.If both of you are still students,expect less from each other because nobody is earning salary. Learning to accept and appreciate the little amount you receive from your guardians will make you respect and appreciate the little effort your partner is making all because of you. Love should be based on feelings,attention,affection and sacrifice someone makes just because of you.A phone call or even a text message is a sacrifice of time and resources that someone is making to check on you.
Money is not everything in any relationship but make sure you save some coins to atleast once in a while surprise your lover with a gift,it's however important to note that those petty gifts and surprises means alot because of the value attached to it.
"Appreciate the little we've now,tomorrow will take care of itself".
7.CHEATING.
Satisfaction is a major issue in any relationship.
This does not necessarily mean "sex" but also implies to emotional and physical satisfaction.
The reason as to why men and women cheat is a times because they are not satisfied either emotionally or physically or some don't get compliments from their spouses,again cheating is not the solution and by the way,a person who is used to cheating will cheat even when every aspect is held constant because it's their routine.A person who is loyal to you will stay even when the conditions are not favorable.The easiest way to satisfy your spouse is by making then first priority,add complements,show them you care and during your hard and difficult moments,seek advice from them as this will make them feel appreciated and trusted.
8.COMMUNICATION.
Communication keeps any relationship alive.
Active communication keeps you intouch and keeps your focus on target.
A morning text message and a late evening phone call shows how much you care about your spouse's feelings.This does not necessarily mean that you have to remain in touch through the day in unnecessary texts and phone calls that might distract someone's plan of the day,in fact you should understand your spouse needs time to carry out their duty and programs as planned.However,it is very important to let your spouse understand your programs so as to avoid distraction and misunderstanding.
Lack of communication in any relationship will definitely lead to a break up soon or sooner unless otherwise.
(This also applies to long distance relationships)
"Your voice makes me feel better".
9.IGNORANCE.
"I don't care" will lead you into "I wish I knew".
Anonymous wrote that ignorance is one of the dangerous and brutal killer of young generation.
When you don't care about your lover's feelings then you should know that someone somewhere is waiting to take care of him/her for you.
Love is about mutual investment of feelings,time and resources.No matter how busy you're,have time for your spouse.
10.PRAYER.
Prayer is a key to everything.It is written in the scripture that "... ask and it will be given unto you...". When you prayers for a relationship,God will never disappoint you.
Put the almighty first and everything will work out because God created you and He knows your purpose in life.
"Do your best,pray and God will do the rest'.
Love is a beautiful thing when you have the right person,it's equally the worst feeling when you're in a wrong relationship.Choose to stay in a relationship that works best for you,quite from that which ain't working out.It's wise to feel the pain of breaking up a wrong relationship that waiting to suffer foe the rest of your life.
(Frequent suicidal due to heartbreaks and related issue should be condemned with the strongest word possible."Before you commit suicide because of someone you met recently,think about the people who have sacrificed and invested alot in you,don't leave behind a permanent scar in hearts of innocent parents/guardians just because of a boy or a girl,be vigilant".
Each problem has a solution,you're not the first person to experience it.
Stop,think,act.
I value your feedback.
-Like.
-Comment.
-Criticize.
Tel;0715654842.(text/watsApp)
Vokespencer.
All copyrights reserved.
Vokespencer©2019
10 reasons why relationships fail to work out within the first six months of dating as articulated by Vokespencer.
Most teenagers(including me)are victims of soar relationships.The dilemma has always been there in deciding whether to quit from dating or perhaps give it another trial.
It becomes difficult to understand why would lovebirds turn out to be the worst enemies and why would a relationship that seemed to work out end up in a tragic way with much bitterness and grief.The question of who get hurt most during break up is another story but major concern today will focus on why all these sorrow and decapitation,later I will cover about possible mitigation.
Here are ten reasons as to why most of teenage relationships fail to work with the first six months of dating and romancing;
1.EXPECTATIONS.
Possible picture,hope or possible ideal that one believes will happen in his/her favor immediately after engagement is a major killer of most young relationship.When your expectations are too high believe me that you will get frustrated and disappointed like a hell.Most teenagers accept proposals not because they are after love but because they want their bills,outings,evening coffee or rather financial needs to be catered for,and despite the fact that not all have similar intention it becames difficult to sample out who loves you from whoever loves you because of material you possess.
And here I say,let the major motive behind engagement in any relationship be cravings for true love that might lead to a healthy relationship and even marriage.See someone as a father or a mother to your kids,this will drive you to make better choices without future regrets.
To sum up the issue about expectations,let your relationship be of mutual benefit,don't expect too much gifts from your lover,sometimes be the giver and when you decide to surprise your spouse,give out without attaching strings or expecting back anything.
Finally,don't expect everything to work out as planned,remember ours is to plan but the Almighty has the final word.
"Too much expectations will kill you,keep them low"
2.FEAR OF UNKNOWN.
Fear is equally dangerous and brutal killer of most viable relationships.
Fears such as;"What will friends say about me?when will he/she get enough money?What if he/she is cheating on me?what if we don't get married to each other?"are very dangerous and equally important in any relationship because they help you in focusing and planning for future.On the other hand,is it dangerous if not well handled because it makes you restless and impatient,this might result to making wrekless yet heartbreaking decisions in relationships.For a healthy relationship,one should not concentrate too much on impossibilities rather than possibilities because nothing is impossible in life.The current situation is just a lesson to make you plan for a better future, therefore partners should support each other to grow and visualize their hidden capabilities.In this regard,have hope that one day all you've ever dreamed about will come to pass.
Again here I'm not against expectations,in fact every couple should have goals in life and the fact remains that we should not be over ambitious because that light at the end of tunnel may turn out to be a train coming your way,it might strike you and therefore be ready for anything as you enjoy your dating life.Never lose that hope for better coming days.
3.AGE DIFFERENCE.
"Age is just a number",majority of teenagers and adults believes on the above phrase about age in relation to dating.They do believe that age should not be a major consideration in deciding who to date or rather who to marry,but on the contrary opinion I will differ slightly with the above belief.Age is very crucial aspect of any marriage and has long term effects that might lead into unnecessary divorce in future if not well handled as at now.Despite the few working relationships that has a lady being older than a gent,most of such relationships never last and this is because of African way of life.We were brought up and taught that a man should be older than his wife,that has greatly affected the way we make decisions to marry.Similarly, scientists support the fact that a man should be relatively older than his wife and they support it with scientific facts and figures.On my opinion,"the issue about age difference will affect your relationship either negatively or positively depending on your perception and how you are going to handle it with your lover"if you have a conflict with your spouse concerning the same issue,be careful in making decisions because this are lasting decisions that might affect future life.If you manage to handle it successfully then you are good to go but failure to handle well might cause severe similar conflicts in future and may affect your marriage adversely.Nevertheless,it's important to note that the issue usually affects most ladies than men.
when making decisions concerning the age difference,let it be a personal decision,don't engage your relatives or family members unnecessarily because after all,you will end up living with your spouse not your family members nor friends.
4.THIRD PARTY.
Love relationship is ment for two people,a lady and a gent unless otherwise.Learn to solve most of your issues alone because engaging third party might lead to more problems.The moment you start listening to what other people say about your lover,that is the moment you will lose trust and momentum.Not everyone is happy about your thriving relationship,others are jealous because their relationships never works and this makes them feel envy for you.Whenever you here allegations about your spouse cheating on you,don't rush in making unrealistic decisions,perhaps be patient because time will always tell the truth no matter how long it will take.Learn to believe in self and most important your spouse and before engaging a third party in solving minor issues,it's better and recommended that the two of you should seat down and have a cool talk about the issues that are eating on you.
5.MISMATCH.
This frequently happen when you rush in choosing a partner and later realize she/he is not your "type".This might lower your self-esteem and confidence,you should rather take time when choosing a lover.
You should consider dating a close friend because you've atleast known their personality and character better.
6.MONEY.
Desire for more money is still a major issue affecting most relationships.
Understanding financial status of your lover is very crucial.If both of you are still students,expect less from each other because nobody is earning salary. Learning to accept and appreciate the little amount you receive from your guardians will make you respect and appreciate the little effort your partner is making all because of you. Love should be based on feelings,attention,affection and sacrifice someone makes just because of you.A phone call or even a text message is a sacrifice of time and resources that someone is making to check on you.
Money is not everything in any relationship but make sure you save some coins to atleast once in a while surprise your lover with a gift,it's however important to note that those petty gifts and surprises means alot because of the value attached to it.
"Appreciate the little we've now,tomorrow will take care of itself".
7.CHEATING.
Satisfaction is a major issue in any relationship.
This does not necessarily mean "sex" but also implies to emotional and physical satisfaction.
The reason as to why men and women cheat is a times because they are not satisfied either emotionally or physically or some don't get compliments from their spouses,again cheating is not the solution and by the way,a person who is used to cheating will cheat even when every aspect is held constant because it's their routine.A person who is loyal to you will stay even when the conditions are not favorable.The easiest way to satisfy your spouse is by making then first priority,add complements,show them you care and during your hard and difficult moments,seek advice from them as this will make them feel appreciated and trusted.
8.COMMUNICATION.
Communication keeps any relationship alive.
Active communication keeps you intouch and keeps your focus on target.
A morning text message and a late evening phone call shows how much you care about your spouse's feelings.This does not necessarily mean that you have to remain in touch through the day in unnecessary texts and phone calls that might distract someone's plan of the day,in fact you should understand your spouse needs time to carry out their duty and programs as planned.However,it is very important to let your spouse understand your programs so as to avoid distraction and misunderstanding.
Lack of communication in any relationship will definitely lead to a break up soon or sooner unless otherwise.
(This also applies to long distance relationships)
"Your voice makes me feel better".
9.IGNORANCE.
"I don't care" will lead you into "I wish I knew".
Anonymous wrote that ignorance is one of the dangerous and brutal killer of young generation.
When you don't care about your lover's feelings then you should know that someone somewhere is waiting to take care of him/her for you.
Love is about mutual investment of feelings,time and resources.No matter how busy you're,have time for your spouse.
10.PRAYER.
Prayer is a key to everything.It is written in the scripture that "... ask and it will be given unto you...". When you prayers for a relationship,God will never disappoint you.
Put the almighty first and everything will work out because God created you and He knows your purpose in life.
"Do your best,pray and God will do the rest'.
Love is a beautiful thing when you have the right person,it's equally the worst feeling when you're in a wrong relationship.Choose to stay in a relationship that works best for you,quite from that which ain't working out.It's wise to feel the pain of breaking up a wrong relationship that waiting to suffer foe the rest of your life.
(Frequent suicidal due to heartbreaks and related issue should be condemned with the strongest word possible."Before you commit suicide because of someone you met recently,think about the people who have sacrificed and invested alot in you,don't leave behind a permanent scar in hearts of innocent parents/guardians just because of a boy or a girl,be vigilant".
Each problem has a solution,you're not the first person to experience it.
Stop,think,act.
I value your feedback.
-Like.
-Comment.
-Criticize.
Tel;0715654842.(text/watsApp)
Vokespencer.
All copyrights reserved.
Vokespencer©2019
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